


Shine

by TheMysteriousStoryteller



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, dont worry nothing is really graphic but. it is there., i guess, its uplifting at the end tho i promise, the noncon isnt described at all but edds feelings after it are kinda touched on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-06 00:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21217886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMysteriousStoryteller/pseuds/TheMysteriousStoryteller
Summary: Keep going, I can never fall. Keep going, giving it my all.





	Shine

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic for Edd's birthday. I've had this idea for a while, and I figured this was a good time to write it. It's based off of the song Shine by NetNobody, which is a song very dear to me. I guess the only thing I have left to say is thanks, Edd. Thank you for inspiring me and many others to go forth and do what they're passionate about doing. I hope you guys enjoy the fic. Comments are, as usual, appreciated, and I hope you all have a lovely day! ^^

_ A small child _ _ — _ _ donned in a long-sleeved, dark green shirt under a short-sleeved, lime green shirt; light blue pants, and green and white shoes _ _ —ran around a playground with his two best friends. One had bright ginger hair and apple green eyes that caught the attention of anyone, and the other had black hair and brown eyes. Their parents watched them play together, swinging on swings and sliding on slides until the sun set and it was time to say goodbye. As they parted ways, the children waved to each other and promised each other that they would play again tomorrow. Life couldn’t have been more perfect.  _

* * *

_ That same child—still donned in green, but was now wearing a hoodie instead—walked toward a large building with a crowd of other kids walking the same way as him, all ready to begin their first day of secondary school. The boy’s friends—the one with the ginger hair and the other with the black hair—were still by his side. His parents had to work a little more now, but that was fine. After all, he had his best friends by his side. Life was still just as perfect as ever.  _

* * *

_ He entered year ten of his educational career with that same mindset. He still had his friends, and his grades were still good, and he was still content. His friends had somehow climbed their way up the social food chain, and were now at the top, but that didn’t mean they left him behind. At the end of the day, they were still friends after all, right? They were all even going to go to a party together later on! Life was still as great as ever, right?  _

_ Unfortunately, year ten had been a misstep. The boy had—at least in his mind—miscalculated. He didn’t know what he miscalculated exactly, but he was sure that he had done something wrong. Reality had come down on him hard at that party, and he was left wondering what he had done to deserve this. At least he still had his ginger friend, though, right? As he scrubbed at his body until it was red and raw in the shower, he was now forced to think if life had ever been as great as he thought.  _

* * *

_ Year 11 was the first year that the boy wondered if life was worth living. He grew his bangs out to cover his face and mask what he had become. Despite this, however, he had gained some new friends—a boy with incredibly spiky hair and a Norwegian boy that could barely speak English—but he began to wonder if he truly deserved them. The spiked-haired one was sweet—so sweet that it filled the boy with rage. But why? Why did it make him angry? Why did others’ kindness make him so irritated? Speaking of kindness, his ginger friend seemed to have lost his somewhere down the line. He was now at the very top of the social food chain, surrounded by people that were much better than the boy could ever dream to be. Ever since then, he had become much more aggressive; much more condescending; much more mean. However, the boy couldn’t say that he was any different. He could feel himself beginning to change, and he felt just as dirty on the inside as he did on the outside. Life was a curse.  _

* * *

_ Toward the end of year 12, the boy tried to break the curse by breaking every bone in his body. He had climbed to the top of a cliff that overlooked a town, and he was ready to take the plunge. However, he ended up climbing back down and going home. He didn’t understand why he decided to not go through with his plan; it wasn’t like anyone would miss him. So why, then, did he so desperately hope that someone would, despite everything else telling him that they wouldn’t? As the boy laid in bed, staring out of the window, he contemplated again if life was worth living.  _

_ The boy made his final decision during the summer break between years 12 and 13. He decided to make it quick, so that he wouldn’t have a chance for second thoughts. He had his phone beside him, but didn’t bother writing a message. After all, what could he say? He had nothing worth sharing. The only thing that he needed to do was stab himself through the heart, and then it would be over. However, he hadn’t paid enough attention to their unit on human anatomy, and he ended up plunging the knife into somewhere that was painful, but not instantly lethal. What a foolish move! As he laid there, bleeding out on his bed, he figured that this was how it should end for someone like him. He would die a slow, painful death, just as he deserved. At least life was finally going to leave him alone.  _

_ But did he really want that, though? As he laid on his bed, his thoughts still mostly clear even as he bled, he began to second-guess himself again. Was this how he wanted to go? In a pool of his own blood, with a knife in his chest? His hands grasping at his phone and his fingers opening up Matt’s contact and typing a message answered his question before his mind even could.  _

_ “help”.  _

* * *

_ When the boy came to consciousness again, he was in a hospital bed. He looked around, seeing his three friends and his brother. Not to his surprise, his parents were absent. As he came to, he noticed that his ginger friend had a tear-streamed face. Strange. When was the last time he had seen the other cry? Come to think of it, as he looked around, everyone had puffy eyes and red faces. Even the Norwegian had his face screwed up with more emotion than the boy had ever seen. Were they really that worried? He could feel his hand weakly clench into a fist. If this was how they were when he almost died, then...what would have happened if his plan was successful? He didn’t get to think on it for long before he felt arms loop around his neck gently. He looked up to see his ginger-haired friend almost on the verge of tears again. Oddly enough, he could feel his own eyes begin to water up as well. As he heard his friend begin to cry and apologize, the boy realized that things had to change, even if he had become comfortable in his own misery. He couldn’t keep doing this to people. He couldn’t keep doing this to himself.  _

* * *

_ Years 12 and 13 were a blur. With the support of his friends and family, he had gotten a therapist and, after a visit to a psychiatrist, was diagnosed with depression and PTSD. It was both the biggest and smallest surprise of his life, yet it was also oddly relieving in a way. He wasn’t a bad person, was he? He didn’t deserve what had happened all those years ago, right? Slowly, but surely, his life was beginning to change. Sometime after he graduated, he went to get his hair cut. For the first time in years, he got his bangs cut short, making his eyes visible. The mask was ripped off.  _

* * *

_ Something strange happened during one of his years in Uni. Even he couldn’t mostly remember everything, but he could recall having thoughts on one particular night that were darker than the pitch black sky that hung above them outside. Not being able to take it, he had walked out of his shared apartment room with his Norwegian friend into the cold atmosphere of the night. He had no destination in mind until he met that odd stranger with black hair and a white shirt, who directed him to a very pretty lake that happened to be near a hospital. One thing led to another, and the next thing he knew, he had gone on a mini-journey that was partly him in the hospital and partly him wandering around aimlessly while thinking to himself. After he got himself back on track, he had returned to his friends. Though his ginger friend yelled at him for a good few moments, he had ended up breaking down into tears, talking about how he didn’t want to lose his best friend again. The boy’s heart stung with guilt and irritation, but he knew that his friend was just incredibly worried. Regardless of that, everyone seemed happy about his return, and because of that, the boy was happy that he had returned as well. From now on, he decided, he was going to live for himself above everyone else.  _

* * *

And here that boy—now a man graduated from Uni—sat at a kitchen table in a house shared by himself, his ginger friend, his spiky-haired friend, and his Norwegian friend. Today was his birthday—a day to celebrate the fact that he had made it for another year. To celebrate, he was presented with a chocolate cake made by his ginger friend. It was covered in vanilla frosting, and there was some writing on it in green icing that was accompanied by a few drawings that featured cats, cartoons, and cans of cola. “Happy Birthday, Edd!” was written on the cake in that green icing. 

“Here you go!” Edd’s ginger friend set the cake down on the table. Edd could smell the sweetness emanating from the cake that made his mouth tingle and water. He grinned as he saw the cute drawings on the top of the cake as well. A nice touch, in his opinion. 

“Thanks, Matt,” Edd said to him as he leaned forward to get a better look at the cake. “It looks great.”   
  
“Don’t forget to thank us, too!” Edd’s spiky-haired friend chimed in, motioning to himself and the Norwegian. “We helped!”   
  
“Excuse me, who baked the cake, Tom?” Matt rhetorically asked, crossing his arms. “You and Tord just decorated the top.”   
“We still did something!” Tom argued. “I drew an amazing cat!”

“Your cat looks like a hotdog with circles and triangles attached to it,” Tord remarked, causing Tom to sock him in the arm. Tord yelped, and Edd rolled his eyes. 

“Can you guys save the fighting for later?” He asked. “I wanna eat this cake  _ so _ bad.” 

“For once, I agree with Edd,” Matt nudged Edd’s shoulder with a teasing grin. “I’ll get the knife and stuff.” As he turned around, he added on, “by the way, Tom, if I see you touch the cake, I’ll kill you.” With that, he began to walk toward the cupboards and drawers that held plates, forks, and a knife fit for cutting a cake.

“Wow. I feel so welcome here,” Tom stated in a tone dripping with sarcasm. Edd chuckled and looked down at table—specifically, at his arms. He had chosen to only wear his Smeg Head t-shirt today, so he could see the faded red lines on his arms from those dark times all those years ago. It was a permanent reminder of all of the worst parts of his life, but it was also a reminder of the fact that even through those parts, he had still come out on top. He hated them, sure, but they were also a part of him. Years ago, he would’ve probably thought that these scars were all that he was: an unfixable mistake that wouldn’t even make it past highschool. Now, however, he refused to let that define him. It didn’t matter now. He was way different now compared to how he was all those years ago. He had moved on. 

A voice broke into his thoughts. 

“Edd? Hey, EEEEEEEdd.” Matt prodded his shoulder. Edd quickly looked up at Matt, taking his arms off of the table. “How big do you want your slice?” 

“Uh...big?” Edd replied. When Matt held the knife over a certain part, Edd added on, “that’s good.” Matt nodded and slowly sliced out a chunk of the cake. 

“Noooo, Mr. Whiskers!” Tom cried as he saw that his cat had been decapitated due to Matt’s cutting. “He was so young!” 

“Well, Mr. Whiskers is gonna taste delicious,” Edd replied with a smirk, making Tom let out an anguished whine. Matt rolled his eyes and placed the slice onto a plate, sliding the plate over to Edd. “Thanks, dude,” Edd said to Matt. His friend nodded and gave him a kind smile that Edd still hadn’t grown used to seeing. Pushing that aside, though, he focused on getting a fork and digging into his cake. As usual, Matt’s baking was phenomenal. The cake was soft and fluffy, and melted with the frosting in his mouth perfectly. It was so sweet that Edd felt like he might have a heart attack. Yet, he still decided to ask Matt if he could get him a can of cola to go with the pastry. After rolling his eyes again and mumbling about how Edd was lucky that it was his birthday, Matt got Edd a can of cola out of the fridge. He handed it to his friend, who cracked it open and immediately chugged a bit of it down. 

While Edd ate his cake and drank his soda, the others began to take their own slices. He watched his friends eat, chat, and joke around with each other with a small smile. Life may not be perfect now, but it was pretty swell. 


End file.
